Johanna Busch
Listening with Understanding and Empathy
Listening with understanding and empathy is a crucial habit of mind that many of my students are still working on developing. This habit of mind requires students to think about how someone else might be feeling and understand their point of view. This is a skill that must be explicitly taught and consistently reinforced for students.
Explicit Teaching
Because my students are young, I decided to explicitly teach listening and empathy/understanding separately. I did this so that students could spend a sufficient amount of time learning and practicing these two skills before putting them together and listening with understanding and empathy. First, students learned how to be a good listener by discussing the traits of a good listener and completing a practice activity. A few days later, student learned how to show understanding and empathy towards others by learning about bucket filling.
Listening Explicit Teaching
I taught this lesson to explicitly teach students how to listen with understanding and empathy. First, we discussed what good listeners look and sound like. Students listed their own ideas and then we created a class list and discussed the practices of good listeners. Next, students got a chance to practice listening with understanding and empathy. Students spent five minutes silently writing about their weeks. Then, they took turns sharing with a partner and practicing their listening skills. Afterwards, students reflected on how it felt to listen and talk.
Here is the lesson plan for the explicit teaching of the listening with understanding and empathy.
This student used language we use in class, such as criss cross applesauce to describe what good listening looks like.
This student wrote "you can whisper I'm listening to you."
This student wrote that good listeners sit in SHINE (our learning position) and are quiet.
Above is student work from the Do Now for this lesson. Students wrote how they show and say they are listening.
After students had a few minutes to write on their own, we created a class list of how we can show we are listening and what we can say when we are listening.
This student wrote about going to church and her grandmother's house.
This student wrote about not going to school because she cut her hand.
This student wrote about Valentine's Day and her school bus catching on fire.
This student wrote about an emotional encounter between her separated mother and father.
To prepare for the listening activity, students silently wrote and drew about the best and worst parts of their week.
The above images show students sharing what they wrote about the best and worst parts of their week with a partner. For the most part, students did a great job of listening to their partner and waiting for their turn to share. It was especially gratifying to see students sharing with classmates that they might not be great friends with.
This student said it was easier to talk than listen because "I love to talk."
This student said he can get better at listening by practicing.
This student said to be a better listener she can look at the speaker and put her hands in SHINE.
This student said it was easier to listen because "you don't need to open up your mouth."
After the listening activity, students answered three reflection questions. Some students found it easier to listen and others found it easier to talk. Most students said the activity made them feel good or okay. Students gave a variety of ways they could become better listeners.
Understanding and Empathy Explicit Teaching
To explicitly teach students about empathy and understanding, I taught them about the concept of bucket filling. First, I introduced students to the word empathy. Then, students listened to a read aloud of Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud. After reading the story, we discussed what empathy and understanding mean and how we can exhibit these while listening. Students brainstormed ideas with partners. Then, we created a class "bucket" filled up with ideas for showing understanding and empathy.
Above is the slide and picture I used to introduce the term empathy to students.
Above is the video of the read aloud of Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud.
Above is a picture of my students watching the read aloud.
After watching the video, students created the above list of ways that we can fill buckets by showing understanding and empathy.
After introducing students to the concepts of empathy, understanding, and bucket filling, students completed a sort. They were given several pictures of children either showing empathy and understanding or not. Students sorted the pictures into two categories, bucket fillers and bucket dippers. As students sorted the pictures, they discussed how the individuals may or may not have been using the habit of mind of listening with understanding and empathy.
The above images show students working in small groups to sort pictures of children using empathy and understanding to fill buckets and children dipping into buckets.
The above slideshow shows the finished sorts of bucket fillers and bucket dippers. Images in the bucket filler section show kids who are acting with empathy and understanding. The bucket dippers section shows students acting without using this habit of mind.
These two lessons allowed me to separately introduce listening and understanding/ empathy. This helped my young students to first learn how to listen to someone and then learn how to understand someone else's perspective and think about their feelings. After explicitly teaching these concepts separately, my students had a good understanding of both aspects of this habit of mind. Explicitly teaching both listening and empathy allowed me to consistently reinforce this habit of mind in my classroom.
Reinforcement- Morning Meeting
Morning meeting is one way that I reinforce listening with empathy. Every morning, students spend a few minutes sharing in response to a question. After a student shares, students have an opportunity to respond with a question or comment. This is a great reinforcement, because we practice this routine every day. At the beginning of the year, it was very difficult for students to wait their turn to hold Pat and share and to say comments and questions that related to what their classmates said and felt. Now, students are much better at listening to others and really enjoy hearing what their classmates have to say. Students have developed this competency because I reinforce this habit with routines and procedures.
Before we share, we review what it looks like and sounds like to listen with understanding and empathy. Students read the anchor chart shown below out loud. I choose one student to model what a good listener looks like and sounds like. I remind students that we want to fill each other's buckets by listening with understanding and empathy during morning meeting
Here is a picture of the listening with understanding and empathy anchor chart. Students review this chart before the sharing aspect of every morning meeting.
One way I help to reinforce listening with understanding and empathy is by planning engaging morning meeting questions. I often have students answer the morning meeting share as their morning work during breakfast. Then, they share what they wrote during morning meeting. This encourages students to listen to what their peers have to say and follow up with questions and comments. Students are more ready to listen and respond with understanding and empathy because they have already thought and wrote about the question during breakfast.
Here is a screenshot of my morning meeting lesson plan with the question highlighted. Students wrote answers to this question in their morning journals. Then, students took turn sharing their answers at morning meeting. Students also have an opportunity to respond to others' answers.
To further reinforce the habit of mind of listening with understanding and empathy, we use a talking piece "Pat the Cat" in morning meeting. Students can only talk when they are holding the cat. This helps students practice deeply listening to someone without trying to talk while they are talking. After sharing, a student is able to to choose two other students to ask a follow-up question or comment. The student hands the chosen responder the cat before they speak.
Here is a picture of Pat the Cat who my class uses as a talking piece during morning meeting.
Above are pictures of my students sharing their answers to the question as well as follow up questions and comments using Pat the Cat during morning meeting.
The sharing routine we follow during morning meeting reinforces the habit of mind of listening with understanding and empathy every morning. Students practice taking turn speaking and listening to understand someone else's perspective and feelings. By the spring, students demonstrate this understanding and empathy by responding to their classmates answers to the morning question. Practicing these routines and procedures every single morning helps students to internalize this habit of mind.
Reinforcement- Class Dojo
I also reinforce the habit of mind of listening with understanding and empathy through ClassDojo. When I see students listening to each other and responding with empathy, I them a Dojo point. For example, I recently gave a point when a student entered class in the morning visibly upset. Another student asked her why she looked so sad and then listening to her talking about a fight she had with her sister on the bus. The other student actively listened and asked a question. Because of this, I can her a Dojo point for exhibiting this habit of mind.
When a student gets a point, a long "ding" sounds through the classroom from the application. Their name also displays on the SmartBoard. This public recognition rewards the student who exhibited listening with understanding and reminded other students that they should be demonstrating this habit of mind.
Here is a screenshot of the ClassDojo screen that shows what skills students can earn points. Listening with understanding and empathy is circled in blue.
Reinforcement- Scenarios
Another way I reinforced this habit of mind was a scenario activity. Students were assigned random pairs. Each pair was giving a scenario card. Students were given time to practice acting out the scenarios, showing how they could use listening with understanding and empathy. After students had time to practice these scenarios, several students acted them out in front of the whole class. This activity reinforced the habit of mind of listening with understanding and empathy by having students practice this habit of mind in a real-life situation and getting feedback from their peers and teachers.
Above are the scenario cards that students acted out.
Above are the directions I gave to students to act out their scenario cards.
The above picture shows students discussing how they will act out their scenario cards and writing a script.
The above picture shows students reading their scenario card and assigning roles.
After students had a chance to practice their scenarios in pairs, a few students were chosen to act out their scenarios in front of the whole class. Click the link to watch a video of one of these presentations. These students were acting out a scenario card that said "One of your friends always makes you play the game he or she wants to play." Student 1 says she wants to play with Student 2. Student 2 says he will only play if they race. Then, Student 1 expresses her point of view. The other student listens and apologizes for always only wanting to race and they find a solution. This scenario exhibits listening with understanding and empathy because the student listened to someone with a different perspective and tried to understand where they were coming from.
Practicing habits of mind is a key way of reinforcing them so that they become natural. This scenario activity reinforced the habit of mind of listening with understanding and empathy for all of my students by allowing them to practice this habit of mind in a life-like scenario. Students practiced what it would really look and sound like to listen to a classmate with empathy. Students also got a chance to watch others using this habit of mind. This type of reinforcement will help students to grow personally and internalize this habit of mind.
Reinforcement- Cool Down Corner
Another way that I reinforce listening with understanding and empathy is through our class cool down corner. Students often go to our cool down corner when they are upset with another student in the class. My calm down process encourages them to use their listening and empathy skills to think about how the other person was feeling and solve the problem. Using this process in real situations helps students to internalize listening with understanding and empathy, as they are used to using this skill in times of social conflict.
When students go to the calm down corner, they set the five minute timer and take some deep breathes. Then, they are encouraged to think about what happened by filling out a reflection. A poster about using empathy to identify others' feelings reminds them to think about how their actions or words might have made their classmate feel. Students also complete a reflection sheet that asks them how they made other people feel. When students have finished reflecting, they are allowed to color or use a fidget until the timer is done and it is time to return to class.
Taking time to reflect about how someone might have felt after a difficult situation helps students build the habit of mind of listening with understanding and empathy. They have to consider how they made someone else feel. This type of reflection will allow them to do a better job of listening with understanding and empathy in future situations. Furthermore, after using the cool down corner, students often approach each other to apologize and discuss what happened. The cool down corner process helps students to listen with understanding and empathy in these moments.
The above picture shows a student completing a written reflection sheet in the cool down corner after a verbal altercation with another student.
The above picture shows the poster that hangs above the cool down corner reminding students how to use empathy to understand others' feelings.
This student reflected on how leaving class without permission made the teacher and the rest of the class feel.
This student reflected on how his sisters and another student felt after he got pushed.
This student reflected on how her friend felt after they yelled at each other.
This student reflected on how leaving class without permission made the teacher and the rest of the class feel.
The above slideshow shows several sample cool down corner reflection sheets that students completed in the cool down corner. Students write what happened, how they feel, what they will do differently next time, and how they made others feel.
Unlike the other reinforcements, the cool down corner does not deal with listening to another student in the moment. Rather, students reflect on what another student said (through verbal and body language) a few minutes ago and figure out what this language suggests that they were feeling. This type of reflection encourages students to improve their ability to identify others' feelings during a situation in the future by listening. Constantly thinking back to how their words and actions made someone else feel will help students to build these active listening skills.
Conclusion
I chose to focus on listening with understanding and empathy because it was a habit that my students often struggled with at the beginning of the year. I have explicitly taught this habit of mind, so that students have the skills that they need to listen to each other and know what it means to show empathy and understanding. These skills are reinforced everyday at morning meeting, when students practice sharing and listening to each other. I also use ClassDojo to reinforce this habit by recognizing and rewarding students who exhibit this habit of mind. Students also participated in an activity where they acted out scenarios that required them to listen with understanding and empathy. Finally, this habit of mind is reinforced through our classroom cool down corner and reflection procedure. This routine requires students to show empathy by reflecting on how their behavior affected others which will strengthen their ability to listen with understanding and empathy in the future.
These practices have allowed my students to greatly improve their ability to listen to someone else and understand their perspective. I have noticed that they are much more attentive listeners and much better at identifying how their actions can impact others. This is a skill that not only improves our own classroom community but will allow them to succeed throughout the school career their adult lives.